Movie Review: Fit Lover/愛情呼叫轉移 2 愛情左右

At least when I am chronically ill from the pollution I can blame some of my behavior and stupidity on the cough syrup (I don't care how gay it may be to slumber in the arms of Morpheus, I'm all for it). A head full of dope explains a lot of dumb stuff in my life.Sadly, I have no such excuse for actually going to Kowloon Bay tonight to see what may be one of the worst films ever made (except that it was shot on video), whose sole redeeming value is a smattering of moments that are unintentionally hilarious. I have never laughed so hard at something I wasn't supposed to. Fit Lover was resoundingly atrocious. I mean, so bad you can't believe it's this bad and then it gets worse.

Shameless product placement that makes Andy Lau seem like a subdued master thespian.

Economy of narrative so brusque that you very quickly get lost in the jarring shifts and find yourself asking the characters "Who the f#$% are you?"

A script so poorly written it makes Karena Lam's character seem like some sort of celibate nymphomaniac (and that conundrum is an apt metaphor for the virtuosic ineptitude that produced this monstrosity). The narrative makes the film a candidate to be titled Busy Woman of Free Affections. But of course, no one in the PRC (movies) ever has sex, so this woman just makes new friends fast. And they all are men. So to speak...This film sucked so much (and so comprehensively) that I wanted to ask it to dinner.

It  was so bad I wanted to sh*t in my own hand and throw it at the screen.

Just to improve what was on the screen.This is just another nail in the coffin whose headstone reads Sean's Tolerance for Mainland Movies.To put it succinctly, anyone who actually enjoys this movie must be a Sh*t Lover.DISCLAIMER:I think Karena Lam did the best she could with what she had to work with and I don't want anyone to think I am criticizing her, just the movie she was in. All of the actors did the best they could, I think, with something that was just not viable. This movie could replace water-boarding as a means of torture...